Quote

A hearty belly laugh leads to a natural boost in blood pressure and heart rate, which can overpower the midday fatigue. ~ Dr. Robert Provine

Still More Yogi Berra Quotes

Here are my last bunch of his many famous quotes:

•     Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.
•     The future ain’t what it used to be.
•     We have deep depth.
•     Pair up in threes.
•     Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.
•     Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
•     It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too     much.
•     I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it         keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not       hitting, how can I get mad at myself?
•     So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.
•     The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
•     Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents         off the streets.

More Yogi Berra Quotes

Here a a few more of his many famous quotes:

    If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.
    When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
    It ain’t over till it’s over.
    It’s like déjà vu all over again.
    No one goes there nowadays, it’s too crowded.
    A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.
    Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.
    We made too many wrong mistakes.
    Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
    You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
    I usually take a two-hour nap from one to four.
    Never answer an anonymous letter.
    I’m lucky. Usually you’re dead to get your own museum, but I’m still alive to see mine.

Yogi Berra Quotes

Here a just a few of his many famous quotes:
•    You can observe a lot by just watching.
•    He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.
•    Take it with a grin of salt.
•    Baseball is 90% mental and the other half is physical.
•    You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.
•    It gets late early out here.
•    You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.
•    I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.
•    If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.
•    If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.
•    I never said most of the things I said.

They Quoted Me

One of my books, “Greatest Jokes of the Century, Book 22” is cited on a wiki about president John Adams.   http://simple.wikiquote.org/wiki/John_Adams

Another source, Snopes is a site that debunks the myths floating around in cyberspace. Many of the popular emails asking for money, or promising that Microsoft will donate if you forward this email, etc. This valuable site became even more valuable recently when it cited another of my joke books "Greatest Jokes of the Century, Book 14"  for a story about Nancy Pelosi.  http://www.snopes.com/politics/pelosi/captaincook.asp


Here is another from my "Profound Thoughts, Book 1"  http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Clarity


I just love it. Now I am a credible source. . .  Such a dubious distinction!

Seven Common Quotes Debunked

Wrong - Money is the root of all evil.
Correct - “For the love of money is the root of all evil.”

Wrong - Nice guys finish last.
Correct - “Why, they’re the nicest guys in the world! And where are they? In seventh place!“

Wrong - Play it again, Sam.
Correct - “Play it once Sam. . . play it, Sam.“

Wrong - Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do or die.
Correct -  “Theirs not to reason why, theirs but to do and die.”

Wrong - Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Correct - “Heav’n has no rage, like love to hatred turn’d/Nor hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d.”

Wrong - Houston, we have a problem.
Correct - “Houston, we’ve had a problem”

Wrong - Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Correct - “Magic Mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

Greatest Quotes of the Century

“I gave at the office,” “The check is in the mail,”  “This is a risk-free investment,” “They are too big to fail,” “I do” (when uttered by Kim Kardashian), "I did not have sexual relations. . .", "Trust me" (when spoken by any politician), "The facts prove" (When proffered by the media).